The short walk.

When life seems unsettled, there was this moment that I would like to remember. It was November 2009.  I had just arrived in England for barely two months. It was my first working day as an office cleaner. It was 10.30 p.m. on a cold winter night.I was left alone by my supervisor in a two storey's building. He even forgot to tell me where this place was. I finished my work and walked outside. Never in my life had I feel this afraid. The air outside was crisp. The sky was at its darkest hour. Where was I? I kept looking for road signs. Heavy rain then started pouring on me as I battled with my sight, still looking for signs.  Someone could have done something harmful to me and that would be the end of me. Wolves were howling. Every single sound scared me and no one at this hour, could save me. No, I had to be tough. Listening to all these sick fears would do me more harm.  I had to at least walk. Trees, trees everywhere. No people. No home. This was not a good sign. I walked again denying the patters of the rain. I walked denying my pitiful self, pitying me. I walked with thoughts of hope. Of why out of the many, it was written, that I was chosen to walk this path at the very first place. So to hope, I placed my entire self. I walked again with nothing but hope in my mind, in my heart, on my feet. Blindly, I followed the hope that was in me. Then, I saw in front of me a bus sign with the name of the road I was walking by. I smiled and I cried as I called the cab to picked me up. That walk sure lasted for a short time. But it was enough to teach me something about hope I would never ever forget. That in blindness, in tears, out of nowhere, Hope saves.

The snake.

But in my mind, I have killed you three times.

Those are the words I randomly saw that exactly depicts how I feel about you now. Your harsh words are unbearable. Your tongue is like a snake. Hissing and spitting out all of your hidden thoughts about us. How could you? After all we’ve done? How could you? A rush of thoughts fills me up. Bitter thoughts. Evil thoughts. Yes in my mind, I have killed you three times. What are you supposed to do when people wronged you? Defend yourself? Explain yourself? But what use is defending and explaining when in their eyes, you are the snake, hissing and spitting out? Then, someone must have got some facts wrong. Someone must have said something not nice. Someone must have been the snake. But what use is knowing who the snake is, have it punished, thrown into the fire and let it die? Because the snake deserves it? And so throwing it into the fire is valid and is the right thing to do? But how was I to know what is right? When I know, at some points in my life, I too made mistakes? I too made some wrong choices my right? Then maybe at this moment, the best thing to do is to let the snake be the snake. To let the curse be on us. To not fight back, although I know we could. To not punish, although I know we should. Maybe the best thing to do is to forgive. Because at some points in my life when the snake was me, all I would ask for my wrongdoings was never the punishment. But mere forgiveness and second chances. 

"Let any of you who is without sin,

be the first to throw a stone at her."