along the way

been trying really hard
this responsibility feels so heavy
that sometimes i feel like giving up
and stop trying
you know how frustrated it feels
to try to reach for something
but along the way
you trip
you get back up
only to be at the bottom again
but along the same way
your journey is altered
something new is added
a different perspective it is
a new story is told
to help you understand other things
that seem to be nonsense some time before
now you try to reach out again
with a newly found strength
again, you trip
get back up
trying hard to smile
an almost emptied bottle of patience
a restless heart that can only whisper
voices of hope
in between breaths of hopelessness
how many more times Lord?
nothing
nothing is left in me
i have fought the fight
i'm getting weary
i can only be still
and wait
but wait,
isn't that the lesson
that You are trying to teach me Lord?

the silent night

i have always been the owl. but one thing for sure, i do not like the silence of the night. it is when the room is really quiet and my thoughts are anything but. it is the time of the day when i am the most critical about myself. it is when my mind tells me to worry, to fear, to doubt, to judge and to hate. it is when sometimes i think i do not want to wake up because the world is a bad, bad place. but when i wake up, all the fear left me. the hate flees. and i realise, it is just my mind playing tricks on me. and then the night comes and the cycle begins.

blurry

life is blurry, my friend

even more, for you

whose hope seems not

to reach you

but fear not, my friend

remember 

the promise

the good news 

that the peace

at the end of the journey

will worth so much more

than the suffering 

that you have to endure